Children and lenses

[Sweet]

Hi. My little sister, who is 12 has recently phoned me to ask about contact lenses. She did ask our dad but as he has no experience with lenses and only wears glasses for reading he asked her to talk to me. Hehe nice, now it is up to me on what i think as our dad is going to go along with that.

I didn't think she had very bad eyesight but has now got glasses which she now needs for reading. Apparently though she doesn't wear these in school even though she has a really nice pair, although this is only what she says. We don't honestly know if she wears them or not!

Then she came home from school one day talking about a friend having soft lenses and wanted the same. My sister isn't that easily led by peer pressure but most kids are, and as she has recently moved schools and is now in the larger comprehensive she has a lot of friends that i haven't met. So whether this friend is someone sensible i don't know!

She tells me that she can't wear glasses because she hates them, so i guess this is more a vanity thing and not because she has KC and that is the only way she can see. Her optometrist has checked for this with the family history.

I started wearing lenses (RGP) at fourteen but i was very bad at it, and the cleaning i did was nothing to write home about!! It was only when i was sixteen that i took things more seriously because i could never see with glasses, so vanity wasn't an issue.

I am thinking that my sister is talking about soft lenses and hopefully daily disposables as i am not too sure if i would trust her to clean them either. She has a lot of sleep overs and trusting a few kids with cleaning lenses properly then goes out the window!!

I don't want to be mean here but if she has a problem and our dad is worried about helping, i am a little far away to really help. She is very sensible and very grown up for her age, but lenses can cause loads of problems and not just with cleaning. As she can see with glasses i am not sure if it is best to wait a while until she is a little older, and was just wondering what others here thought? Also if anyone has children who wear lenses?

Hehe i told her that i will get back to her ... hehe like what about in four years!!!! LMAO!!
Thanks.

Sweet X x X

[Andrew MacLean]

My son has fairly good eyesight (needs glasses to drive when he is tired, but can see very well without glasses for most of the time).

When he was 12 or 13 he went through a spell of wearing contact lenses while doing Karate. I think they were prescribed by an optometrist who had found he had a very slight and measurable short sightedness and offered lenses that were not entirely necessary.

The next time he went for an appointment it was a different optometrist whom he saw and she was shocked to find that a colleague had prescribed and dispensed contact lenses on such a marginal reading. She strongly advised him not to bother wearing them and not to buy more.

Still the point is that lenses are sometimes dispensed to quite young people, sometimes to play to their vanity, sometimes to equip them for sport and sometimes to add to the Optometrist's pension fund.

Andrew

[John Smith]

This is obviously a tough one.

I'd agree with Andrew's post - that it wouldn't be as much of an issue if it were for a reason such as a sport; but personally I wouldn't be in favour of someone that young wearing lenses for vanity purposes.

My advice would be to get her to demonstrate that she needs them first, say by wearing her glasses regularly for 6 months. Then if she is still keen on the idea (and by then you'll have proved that it's not simply a fad) I'd reluctantly agree, but only if her optom agrees that daily disposables are her best option.

If you have concerns that she wouldn't look after them properly, I'd not be happy for her to be in other lenses. I also wouldn't agree if the optom says that she ought to be on monthlies.

Do these comments sound sensible (anyone?)

[Lynn White]

Hi there..

12 is nearly a teenager and they do get fads!! They often do absolutely HATE wearing glasses.

The answer here is not easy as there are many factors you are not sure of at this distance. If you are concerned, it is best to chat to her optom if you can... what you need to know really is how necessary glasses are. If it is a mild correction, then she may not have a problem if she does not wear glasses at all. If she really struggles without though, and refuses to wear her glasses then school becomes a problem.

Even though glasses are now fashionable, children often do go through phases where they won't wear them. Giving in to fad is obviously not advisable but you do need to find out if she has a real problem with vision before saying no!

Now, if she does have a real need for visual correction, you need to assess whether she is likely to care for them and treat them properly. This would be easier to advise about if you were living with her - you cannot really monitor at a distance! Children at this age often do very well with monthly disposables and are usually very good at handling and managing them. Its always a balance and obviously regular after care checks are necessary!

Lynn

[rosemary johnson]

Why won't she wear her glasses?
Why is she at pains to say shedoesn't wear them at school?
Is she being bullied by other kdis atschool about having to wear glasses?
(I remember this well!! - and wouldn't be at all surprised to find it still happening, kids being what they are, and discipline in schools being so lacking these days.)

I suggest your dad go and talk to the school - head, form teacher, year tutor, whatever they have these days - about:
1. is she being bullied about her glasses
2. if so, why is the school not stamping on this?
3. do they have any inkling her work is suffering because she isn't wearing her glasses?

It is certainly a valid question to ask her why she thinks she needs contact lenses if she doesn't need to wear her glasses. But - without knowing her in particular - it may be that she's embarrassed or afraid to admit to being bullied for wearing glasses.
Rosemary

[Sweet]

Thanks for your replies.

When i talked to her about this she did tell me that she isn't being bullied about wearing glasses but she just doesn't want to. I do believe her as we are very close and while she may not tell my dad everything, being another pink fairy she does talk to me! The whole world is pink so we have a lot in common!

She does very well in school being top of her year and doesn't need to sit at the front to see the blackboard. This tells me a lot as i couldn't see anything further away than the front row, so i'm inclined to think that if she is doing so well she does need to have been able to see to get that far.

She also is lucky to have a lot of friends and tends to start trends rather than following them. I'm sure that if she decides on lenses my dad will get a lot of phone calls saying that their child wants them as well!!

I am not against her having lenses and i do trust her with them. She is very sensible and i would take the time to go through cleaning and how to look after them with her. I just think that she is jumping into this really quickly because she sees it as a new and exciting thing.

I know exactly how she feels as i was the only person in school to wear lenses and i thought that it was brilliant! To a child playing with a piece of plastic and sticking it in your eye can be loads of fun and seem very grown up, it's just i now know all the things that can go wrong and think that unless it is the only thing she can see with that it is best to leave things alone.

Her defence being if i can wear them why can't she doesn't go very far!! I am seventeen years older then she is! Trying to explain that i have had way too many problems with lenses and that i am tired of relying on them to see isn't really helping but i am trying to tell her that she has loads of time when she is older to play with her vision.

Right now i am a strong believer that kids grow up way too fast and that she should be able to stay a child for a few more years. She isn't even a teenager yet! If it makes no difference to her vision if she doesn't have lenses then it isn't affecting her studies or quality of life. She does have one of the optometrists i used to have so i can check in with them on how her vision is.

Saying this though it is HER decision and when she visits in a few weeks and we talk about it i will have a much better idea of how much she has thought this through. She knows that i am not going to take her pleading with me, i'm not her parent so it just doesn't wash!

I am just really concerned and have brought her up long enough since our mum passed away to only think of what is best for her. Following fashion or a new fad when it could cause her eye problems just isn't one of them and while she may hate me for it now hopefully she will understand when she is older.

Sweet X x X

[Prue B]

Sweet I think your last paragraph so eloquently put sums it up perfectly. She does not need them because she has glasses that give her adequete correction, and she could do more harm for little benefit by wearing them. If they were neccessary it would be different. You love her and want what is best for her and sometimes as the adult you have to play bad guy. I tend to agree that her long term vision is greater than a hatred of glasses. But I also agree with Lynn talk to her optom and find out how important it is she wear the glasses. My 7 year old is going through that stage at the moment and is managing pretty well without. My 4 year old, who really battles without her glasses had them taken off her face at preschool by another child and he threw them under the building and they cannot be retrieved. She and I are now waiting 2-3 weeks for her glasses to arrive. They really find it difficult getting her lenses to fit in the frame. I have the issue with her of if she gets to the stage glasses dont correct her enough how young can we start contact lenses.

[Lynn White]

Prue..

Actual age is not a problem technically as they can be fitted to new borns if necessary. It is more a case of practicalities - insertion and removal and also whether a child as young as that will WANT to have lenses in her eyes. Often they are really enthusiastic about the idea until it comes to having some in and then they refuse to let anyone near them. (Hehe this also applies to teenagers as well!)

Getting cold feet is often the major reason anyone at any age does not wear contacts!

Lynn

[Janet Manning]

Lynn may put me right here, but surely you don't fit contact lenses for someone who only needs correction for reading. I can't see how a prescription for lenses for all day wear is going to help with reading. I have to use reading glasses over my lenses. My understanding is that the prescriptions are different for long distance and close vision.

[Lynn White]

Ohhh Janet ! You may be showing your age here!

It is true that for adults who are older and are presbyopic, (ie need help with reading because their own lenses in their eyes don't focus well for near as they have hardened up with advancing age, ahem!) would not benefit reading wise from glasses designed to correct distance vision.

With children, if they are longsighted, then correcting their long vision would automatically help them to focus near vision better, especially if they have a different prescription in both eyes. These glasses would help both for blackboard and reading. Likewise, if children have some astigmatism - which many do - this makes letters shadowy if left uncorected, so glasses correctign the distance vision woudl automatically correct for near as well. Even those who are shortighted can benefit near too if the eyes are not the same right and left.

Obviously , I have no idea what Sweet's sister's prescription IS which is why no-one here can actually give really sensible advise here! But I CAN say that I can think of several prescriptions a child would generally use mainly for reading which could be sorted with contacts in theory. Whether you do or not is another matter entirely!

Lynn