UK Keratoconus Self-Help and Support Association

We have sometimes been in funny situations with lens, put 'em here for a laugh!

Last year, I was speaking at a conference - 5 mins before I was due on the lens has a wobbly. I run to the disabled toilet, throw everything onto the floor and have a panic because there's no reading without the lens. God knows what passing people thought of hearing a woman screaming from the toilet, "GET IN YOU BAS****!!!"

I used to pop my lenses out in the oddest circumstances.

One time I had to speak to the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland. I got up to speak and made my way to the microphone reserved for Conveners of Boards. I almost said "Moderator" when my lens popped out. Suddenly all the officials were on their hands and knees, but it was the Moderator who found my lens. He picked it up on the tip of his finger, handed it to me and we carried on as if nothing had happened.


Andrew

Many years ago, at conference, got drunk, lost lens, had to present sitting down couldn't damn well see a thing like the flip chart, people...

Rushed into Boots and cleared the counter to flip out the lens as it was really hurting, cue shocked assistants who thought I was taking out a prosthetic eye!

Was in a car park unlocking my car when my lens shot out. It landed on the roof of the car. I cleaned my hands with some wipes, picked up my lens and rinsed it in a little vial of sterilized water and popped it back in. Someone did stop as the drama unfolded to ask if I needed any help. I smiled benignly and said, somewhat disingenuously, "Everything is under control"

I had 3 lens wobblies today of the full-on screaming in pain, suction pad removal [inlcuding one over someones shop counter] type.
ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I dropped my lens down the plug hole the other day. My wife retrieved it for me after dismantling the S-Bend.

I once dropped a lens down the back of the photocopier. It popped out of my eye, bounced off the photocopier lid and dropped down the back into all the fluff and stour.

The cleaner pulled from her pocket a pop sock that she keeps handy for such occasions. She slipped over the open end of the vacuum cleaner hose and sucked up the stour. My lens was kept from going all the way into the cleaner's dust bag by the nylon pop sock!

Andrew


by the way, for those who are not from Scotland or the North of England, stour is a real word:
stour |stoŏr| (also stoor) noun Scottish & N. English dust forming a cloud or deposited in a mass. Oxford English Dictionary