Anyone got any good jokes??

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Theresa Adamson
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Postby Theresa Adamson » Tue 05 Jun 2007 2:34 pm

why were the bakers hands brown?

He was needing a poo!

Sorry, but a good poo joke always makes me chuckle..lol

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Marc Pritchard
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Postby Marc Pritchard » Wed 06 Jun 2007 5:29 pm

I'm Very Much into silly jokes, so here goes.



Two fish in a tank, one goes "Do you know how to drive this thing?"


Q. Why did the Monkey fall out of the tree?
A. Because it was dead.

Q. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree?
A. Because it was stapled to the first.

Q. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
A. Because he thought it was a game.



Q. What's white and can't climb trees?
A. A fridge

Q. What's blue and white and can't climb trees?
A. A fridge in a denim jacket

Q. What's green and brown, has six legs, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree?
A. A snooker table.

Bit of a tree theme going on here.


Q. How do you get an elephant into a fridge?
A. Open the door and put him in

Q. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge?
A. Take the elephant out.

Q. The lion, the king of the jungle calls for a meeting of all the animals. Who doesn't turn up?
A. The giraffe, he's still in the fridge.

Q. There's a wide river that's infested with man-eating crocodiles and there is no bridge, how do you get across?
A. Swim, they're all at the meeting.


That's it baring a weird one, it may make you laugh, it may not.

Q. How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

A. A fish
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Philip K. Dick

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Andrew MacLean
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Postby Andrew MacLean » Sat 09 Jun 2007 10:07 am

I've been away for a bit, so sorry if aany of these are duplications:

Q What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a flower?
A I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!

Q What button won't you find in a tailors shop?
A Belly button!

Q Why didn't the banana snore?
A Because it didn't want to wake up the rest of the bunch!

Q What do you call a man with cow droppings all over his feet?
A An incowpoop!

Q If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?
A Slippers!

Q Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
A He wanted to find Pluto!

Q What happened when the wheel was invented?
A It caused a revolution!


Andrew
Andrew MacLean

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Postby Andrew MacLean » Sun 10 Jun 2007 5:07 pm

And, here is one for Matthew:

A young student at Dartmouth was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.

"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"

"Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied.

"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"

"Throw out another anchor, sir."

"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?" asked the captain.

"Throw out another anchor, sir."

"Hold on," said the captain. "Where are you getting all those anchors from?"

"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."
Andrew MacLean


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