The Bad Joke Thread

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RedOnion
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The Bad Joke Thread

Postby RedOnion » Thu 17 Jun 2021 7:03 pm

Just for a little light hearted humour, I thought a bad joke thread might be fun (I haven’t found one here)! Just silly and bad jokes please, keep it clean and family friendly! I’ll start off with this...

Why should you always fear a pirate duck?

He has the power to unleash the quackin.

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Re: The Bad Joke Thread

Postby RedOnion » Wed 23 Jun 2021 6:58 pm

What do you call a High Court Judge with no fingers?

Justice Thumbs.

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Re: The Bad Joke Thread

Postby RedOnion » Sun 27 Jun 2021 4:14 pm

A surgeon is doing an operation. He's about to finish when, surprisingly, the patient wakes, sits up, and demands to know what's going on. "I'm about to close," says the surgeon. The patient grabs the surgeon's hand and says, "I'm not going to let you do that. I'm a dab hand with a needle. I'll close my own incision."

The surgeon hands him the needle and thread and says, "Suture self."

RedOnion
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Re: The Bad Joke Thread

Postby RedOnion » Wed 30 Jun 2021 7:05 am

I’m trying to organise a hide and seek tournament but it’s not going very well.

Good players are very hard to find.

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Re: The Bad Joke Thread

Postby RedOnion » Thu 01 Jul 2021 8:10 pm

Why are divorce rates so high for tennis players?

To them, love means nothing.

RedOnion
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Re: The Bad Joke Thread

Postby RedOnion » Thu 08 Jul 2021 8:19 am

What is Bruce Lee’s favourite type of vegetable?

Brocco-Lee

RedOnion
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Re: The Bad Joke Thread

Postby RedOnion » Thu 15 Jul 2021 11:02 am

I recently took a pole.

And found that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

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Re: The Bad Joke Thread

Postby RedOnion » Tue 20 Jul 2021 7:48 pm

What do you call two birds stuck together?

Velcrows.

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Re: The Bad Joke Thread

Postby RedOnion » Fri 23 Jul 2021 8:52 pm

I accidentally drunk a bottle of invisible ink today.

I’m in the hospital still waiting to be seen.

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Re: The Bad Joke Thread

Postby RedOnion » Tue 27 Jul 2021 7:16 pm

What do you get when you cross two elephants with a fish?

Swimming trunks.


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