UK Keratoconus Self-Help and Support Association

Just for a little light hearted humour, I thought a bad joke thread might be fun (I haven’t found one here)! Just silly and bad jokes please, keep it clean and family friendly! I’ll start off with this...

Why should you always fear a pirate duck?

He has the power to unleash the quackin.

What do you call a High Court Judge with no fingers?

Justice Thumbs.

A surgeon is doing an operation. He's about to finish when, surprisingly, the patient wakes, sits up, and demands to know what's going on. "I'm about to close," says the surgeon. The patient grabs the surgeon's hand and says, "I'm not going to let you do that. I'm a dab hand with a needle. I'll close my own incision."

The surgeon hands him the needle and thread and says, "Suture self."

I’m trying to organise a hide and seek tournament but it’s not going very well.

Good players are very hard to find.

Why are divorce rates so high for tennis players?

To them, love means nothing.

What is Bruce Lee’s favourite type of vegetable?

Brocco-Lee

I recently took a pole.

And found that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

What do you call two birds stuck together?

Velcrows.

I accidentally drunk a bottle of invisible ink today.

I’m in the hospital still waiting to be seen.

What do you get when you cross two elephants with a fish?

Swimming trunks.