UK Keratoconus Self-Help and Support Association

Andrew,

The only time I plan to smoke is when I am cremated

Don't think my body is made from smokeless fuel.

Knight,

I think the migrane is from looking at that bouncy web site for too long

Bit like too much head baggin

Gareth

No the body is not made of smokeless fuel, but environmental regulations mean that crematoria have to control their emissions. This done by controling the mix of gasses passting through the cremators during the process.

You may not smoke, even then, unless that is the crematorium "professionals" are not quite up to their job!

Andrew

Muz

I was serious about my offer of sponsorship a a little encouragement in your "Get Muz off the weed" campagne. You up for it?

Andrew

Andrew

Was only joking about smokeless fuel, the environmental lab I used to work for was contracted by the environment agency to do chimney emmission testing and we did do a number of crematoriea.

For that e did dress smart in suits rather than the usual overall etc and hire a car instead of the big emmisions van.

We at least blended in with the mourners even though your heard the odd comment 'I don't know who those people are! We used to say we were old work collegues or something.

If it was obveous the crematorea were busy, we would appologise and say we were with another funeral party.

Modern crematoea also have gas scrubbers and filters to keep emmissions down too.

Gareth

My son is an undertaker! He deliberately works in a different town: the complications of "the minister is the undertaker's father', or 'the undrtaker is the minister's son' were best avoided.

I was smiling at the thought of you trying to 'blend in' at the crematorium. There is a Scottish theartical group called "Scotland the What" who do a sketch on the crematorium. It is extremely funny. I guess it is more funny because we have all been to crematoria and the sheer relief of seeing them as a back drop for comedy makes the ordinarly funny into something quite exquisite!

Our crem has two computerized cremators that not only regulate the gas mix and scrub the emissions, but report themselves (and the crematorium) if their emissions rise above the permittted limits!

Andrew

Using a black estate car and putting the gas testing equipment in a coffin would probably have been considerd bad taste