I fully understand the phobia about eyes, I have a phobia of things in my eye which I have to confront everytime I put a lens in!!!! Afterall, it is not natural to put a 6 - 8mm disc of plastic in your eye. If it were we could poke ourselves in the eye until the cows come home with no ill effects.
Syatane is made by a company called Alcon
http://www.systane.com/consumer/default.asp
Hopefully this link will take you there. It is primarily for dry eyes, but it puts a lubricating layer over the cornea and eye lids to reduce friction between the surfaces, so aiding comfort. There are other types of solution, but this is best for me.
Blinking a lens out is unfortunatly part and parcel of the condition and in many cases can be overcome by changing the lens size or shape. It is difficult to get the exact shape necessary to sit comfortably on our eyes and give good correction.
Failing this, there is another option which is the Scleral lens, made from the same material as an RGP lens but covers the white of the eye too. A smaller version is the mini scleral and I know many who find these more comfortable than the smaller corneal lenses. Like most things, they take getting used to and in cases where the Scleral alone does not give god vision, glasses on top often solve the situation.
Phobias can be overcome, for me it was councelling, but there are other options such as hypnotherapy which I can quote many cases where collegues have found this helful in quiting smoking and a fear of flying.
I am sure your other half would like to overcome this to have as close to a normal life as possible. My suggestions may seem daft, but sometimes we must take a leap of faith and have ago.
The midlands group have asked me to be a guest speaker and my intention is to concentrate on managing the condition rather than medical issues of the eye which consultents do everytime we see them. If the subject does crop up, I will share my experiences.
Hope this helps a little, but as we say at work "Chinese water torture", keep on slowly but gently like a dripping tap and eventually you will make progress. Our partners are as important to us when managing KC as the lenses, support group and health care professionals.
Regards
Gareth