While i would have liked and wanted to come here and say thanks to everyone who helped me get back to Wales safely, especially the elderly gent who put me on the bus after noticing my welsh accent and how lost i was, it still doesnt change anything.
The swelling i had at first all cleared up and i was told to go back to Wales and get a new lens as it needed refitting. Though to be truthful here, it wasnt just Wales who could help, but having had lenses at the same place for five years and not being known in London i thought it made sense.
Only to go home, and get told that i now have another problem being two small ulcers on the good eye and so am still blind. Have steroid drops and antibiotic drops and been told to go back next week, bearing in mind that it has been two weeks already, and i was blind three weeks before that with a different problem. Weeks just roll into one, im losing time here but not getting any real answers as to what is wrong and how long it is going to take to heal. I think i would cope so much better if someone was honest with me and just told me the truth.
And then to make matters even worse, the scleral lenses i have waited a year for are ready and i was sent an appt only to miss it as i only had five days notice and it took four days to get redirected to me in London where i am now living with my sister as i cant see. I could have made it barely but was told not to as i cant have any lens fittings at the minute. So when is my next appt for this fitting?? End of september
so to say i am well depressed is an understatement. This is Sxxs Law i know, as one optometrist told me, but whatever it is ii just dont want to play anymore.
I dont want this condition anymore, i never asked for it, i hate being in constant pain, i hate not being able to see and im so dam tired of well meaning optometrists and friends telling me how amazed they are i made it home and back when i cant see anything. Yes thank you all very much i smile at you and think it will all be ok soon, but DAMMIT THIS IS NOT HELPING ME TO SEE. While i am so happy with you and make a joke of it, im really hurtiing here. I dont want to be a nice patient who sees the good side and smiles, if it means i get no truthful answers!!! It takes time is NOT an answer, surely you must have some idea, are we talking weeks or months here?? Please give me some ending to this, even if it is months, i can plan and work around it.
I guess i should come out and put a little smile here just to say im trying
, but its wearing thin.
In sorry but im just tired of everything right now, and im sorry if it seems as if i am shouting at yiu, as im really not. I know that this site gives support, but i dont feel i have any to give. if i did i would. I just feel totally lost, and isolated from a world that can see.
I am also in a political mess i cant go into here as i have been warned, (not from people here) but im tired of all of this rubbish. What differemce does it make what i put here?? We all know how bad waiting lists are, we hear it every day on the news. We are nearly all patients and have been there, but i wont say anything else as my eyesight and care is my first priority here. I know some understand what im saying, but if you dont do not worry about it. Im not making much sense.
Well i guess i came and didnt post what i wanted to say, which really was thanks to everyone here and to those i met along the way, And i guess it wasnt what you wanted to hear. And im sorry for that. I wanted to come and post something funny with a happy ending, but i guess i dont have one to share, and i cant lie as to where i am, nothing has changed. Im really struggling to read here so while i want to i wont be replying to any posts, im sorry but im in too much pain.
And saying that with everything i've just said i may not be welcome back here anymore anyway. You may decide i am better off left out in the cold, the little depressing welsh toad that i am!!
He he, well i bounced away with a little smile, if only for a minute.
Oh before i forget ... the only good thing i have said in this post, i passed my DVLA visual test and have my licence back!! Just the only problem now is i cant see where the hell i left the car ... and im more than sure that right now im far from safe to drive it! OH BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!
LOL
Gone into hiding
Sweet X x X
