How do you feel about the donors?

[Louise Pembroke]

When I had my first graft I knew it was available before the eye hospital called me as I worked across the road in the general hospital in theatres. One of the anaethetists told me that a cornea had become available, from a woman aged 30 in ITU who had been in an RTA. I was estatic, but on the ward a priest was visiting patients and asking if we wanted him to say a prayer for us. I wanted him to say a prayer for that young woman but I didn't speak up. I've often wondered about her, what she did, who she was, did she have children? I believe the spirit lives on after death so I've also wondered, would she have 'approved' of me having her precious cornea?
I didn't know anything about the 2nd donor, but I wish I could have sent something to the relatives, a card, a few words.
Has anyone else had feelings about their grafts?

[GarethB]

You are not alone in having those thoughts.

The bottom line is that I am extremely grateful for the forethought they had in carrying a donour card. They made the ultimate sacrifice to allow me to see again.

It is for that reason I am fighting to maintain the sight for as long as I can. I understand there comes a point when the optician has to decide wether to continue or not as they did with me before Christmas, but I felt I owed it to the donour to find a solution and keep the sight going longer.

[ChrisK]

It's a great question Louise.

When I first heard I would need a cornea transplant I left the hospital thinking ok. It wasn't until I was on my home that is suddenly dawned on me what this actually meant.

I admit to then having more than a few questions about even whether I wanted a transplant, but then I spoke to a friend of the family. Her mother had died and donated a cornea as she was adament that she wanted her organs to save or improve the lives of those still living. The daughter was thus 100% behind me going ahead with the operation as in cases such as her mum's it's a fulfilment of her last wishes.

[Andrew MacLean]

Every day as I look across the river to the mountains beyond, I give thanks for the generosity of the anonymous (to me) family who allowed the cornea of someone they loved to be used for the restoration of the sight of someone whom they would never know.

I remember telling people that they should never say, "I hope your graft comes soon" nor should they ever offer such a prayer. The graft was always contingent on somebody else's tragedy.

I am also aware of the fact that I have a duty to the donor to ensure that I take as much care as possible of the grafted tissue. I am absolutely punctillious about things like eye drops, irigation, artificial tears etc.

The system seems to be set up so that we don't learn about the identity of the donor. I do take every opportunity in public (in my line of business there are lots of public opportunities) to say what a difference it makes to my life that somebody agreed to the use of a loved one's eyes to give me sight.

Here really is an example of that deep well of human generosity that reaches out, touches and transforms the lives of folk like us!

Andrew

[Louise Pembroke]

Thanks guys, me too. I feel a duty to take as much care as possible of what I've been given.
It felt inapproriate before surgery to say 'can't wait to have my op' because it depended on someone elses loss, but I was happy when I knew.
Most tv programmes about transplants focus on heart/kidneys/liver, not usually corneas. Nursing mags when they feature corneas, it's usually from the professional perspective. I've never seen an article from our perspective, as the recipients. Perhaps that's something to think about in terms of encouraging people to tick corneas on their donor card [and raising the profile of the KC Group].
Heart patients have sometimes spoken of their feelings about receiving a heart. We can attach all sorts of things to the heart - human qualities, even the soul. With eyes, we hear the phrase 'eyes are the windows to the soul'. I sometimes wonder what my donors would think 'looking out' on my life.
Something I am particularly grateful for is that I can feel secure in knowing that it was what the person really wanted.
A while back I watched this programme about very poor people in developing countries selling their organs in order to feed their families. There isn't much that shocks me but this did - one man sold his cornea. That gutted me.
Anyhow, I can't change world poverty, so I sometimes just think about and 'thank' my donors in my head.
I wish the system were different though, so that we could pass a card, a few words, to the family via the doctors [only if they wanted to see it].

[Andrew MacLean]

Louise

I do not know if the practise in Glasgow is universal or simply local, but after I had arrived in the hospital and put on the silly gown they like people to wear, I sat about the ward until it came time for me to be taken to the theatre. Just as I left the ward, the sister gave me a huge box with the words "Human tissue for Transplant" written in large friendly letters.

I carried my new cornea down to the theatre and gave it to the theatre staff. When I woke up, it was in my eye.

Andrew

[Louise Pembroke]

Oh that's lovely Andrew. I suspect that's a local practise.

[Val G]

I am 6 weeks post graft and feeling extremely privledged to have benefited from the thoughtfulness of my donor and their family. I feel honoured to have a little piece of someone else living on inside of me.
I carry a donor card myself and I would give my consent if required to donate tissue or organs from my family.
After surgery I asked my consultant if there was a system in place to send a note of thanks to the donor's family.He seemed very pleased that I'd offered to do this as he said that it was good to let people know of the positive outcome.He forwarded a card on my behalf to UK Transplant.

[John Smith]

Well, this seems to be a bit of a "me too" thread, but me too!

I am incredibly grateful for the gift of sight I was given, and it would have been a nice gesture at the time to be able to write a short note to thank the donor's family. But I also thought that they may think it a little crass.

There was always the doubt that they would have thought something like: "There he is enjoying life, whilst my relative has died."

From the relatives' side - even though I was the receipient of a cornea, I never thought at the time to ask about taking any organs from my Dad when he died; certainly I was not asked about donation, but this could have been because it was a sudden death which had to go to post-mortum.

Then again, I think that the nurse thought that she'd already put me though enough that morning to ask. I'm sure that many nurses don't feel comfortable asking.

Personally, I support the principle that there should be an opt-put register. I'm sure that (despite the faults with such a system) many more organs would become available, and more recipients would live a better life.

[GarethB]

After I posted my response, I went to http://www.medicalert.org.uk and downloaded an application form.

This is so I can record for medical emergancies that I have had two grafts and I also wear lenses. It is also possible to declare that you would like to donate your organs to help someone else and it is something that can be used by everyone instead of a donour card.

It is internationally recognised and saves someone poor nurse rumaging through your personal belongings to see if you have a donour card. They come as neclaces or bracelets to they are immediatly visible.

My application is in front of me and I will complete it before taking my lenses out.

Thanks Louise for making me think and doing something about it.

Gareth